Comparing yourself with other people is basically an everyday occurrence in the age of 24/7 media. It’s virtually impossible not to have one standard or another shoved into your face with the constant circulation of content through TV, movies, and social apps. People who are doing better than you are everywhere. And, they live every single second of the day right in your pocket. Stopping this negative spiral isn’t that easy when the constant circulation of these seemingly perfect images of success are so engrained into our daily routines.
Comparison is the key to unhappiness, and is often one of the biggest barriers in maintaining our mental health. Are you struggling with comparing yourself with other people? Is jealousy getting to you? Then, these tips are for you:
Stay off the internet (and focus on being present)
You’re comparing (and maybe feeling some jealous pings) because you’re on social media consuming way too much content that doesn’t make you feel great. Is your consumption making you feel bad about yourself? Mute voices you don’t need to surround yourself with, unfollow accounts that don’t inspire and make you feel small, and delete followers that don’t need access to you.
I do this all the time by taking regular social media breaks. Set boundaries on how much time you spend online each day, schedule in social-media-free days, or just deactivate your account (or delete the app off your phone) for a longer break every so often. It will do wonders for your mental health.
Some of the best tools I use to help me with this include using the iPhone focus features and regularly using DND to limit notifications. If you’d prefer to eliminate notifications all together (highly recommend!), use iPhone shortcuts to break the habit of constantly grabbing your phone and immediately checking apps when you hear that familiar ping.
There are also a few new habits you can introduce to make this a bit easier for you. For example, one that I’m working on is not immediately checking my phone as soon as I wake up and right before I go to bed. I bought the TikTok trendy alarm clock to use on my nightstand instead, and have a book, journal, or my kindle available so that I can unwind in a healthier way before its time to catch those Zzzs. Leaving your phone in another room can really be a game changer for your peace of mind! Plus, it helps put a stop to comparing yourself to other people on the internet right as soon as you open your eyes, or as you’re trying to clear your mind before a good nights sleep. Honestly, social media before bed is such a recipe for late night anxiety.
Find confidence in yourself that has nothing to do with your appearance or material things
It can be overwhelming being surrounded by beautiful strangers, apartments, and lives 24/7 in the online world. Focus on you and celebrate parts of who you are that have nothing to do with how you look or what you have. For example: Are you an excellent cook? Are you an amazing friend? There is so much more to you than what meets the eye. Appreciate YOU!
The one of the things that have skyrocketed my confidence has been building my self-awareness. It’s seriously changed my whole perception of myself, and is actively helping me transition out of my anxious, people-pleaser, self-doubting, constant validation-needing mindset into a strong, self-assured, and healthy boundary setting stellar new me. This transformation feels so powerful.
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my mental health recovery and up-leveling journey so far, self-awareness is highly underrated, and a mega game-changer in reaching your next level. However, it’s definitely a skill that we have to practice every day. I practice my self-awareness by daily journaling, and taking note about the comments people I trust, respect, and who I know are fiercely in my corner say about me.
Spend time with things that make you feel good and excited about your everyday
As Marie Kondo would say, “does this spark joy?” Invest your time and energy on things that make you happy, feel like yourself, and fulfilled. What are the things you look forward to? Why do you look forward to them? How could you fill up your more of your day with these things?
Focusing on what makes you happy is a great way to turn the energy you’re spending comparing yourself to other people inward and reconnecting with the parts of life that you truly enjoy.
Prioritize play, fun, and leisure time. Make sure you’re doing one thing that makes you happy before and after work or school. The more you reconnect with what energizes you and makes you happy (outside of a screen), the less you’ll care about what everyone else is doing.
Remember that you are way more awesome than you give yourself credit for – you just need to remind yourself why every once in a while!
Stay Stellar,
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